Friday, May 9, 2008

Countdown: The Wrap-Up

SPOILER WARNING
Boy, do I spoil COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS...

Well, DC's second consecutive 52-week comics project ended a couple of Wednesdays ago. It's taken me this long to come down from the experience.

Can't say it garnered a lot of conversation at Ye Olde Comics Shoppe, other than "oh, it's done?"
Frankly, that's how it went out-- with a whimper instead of a bang.

Here's what you missed, if you weren't reading:

  • Darkseid got killed by Orion, who wasn't looking too healthy afterward, following week after week of a confusing (and ultimately pointless?) chess game with a rogue Monitor named Solomon;
  • Superman-Prime came back, steroided-out and wearing all black, to torture Mr. Mxyzptlk, obliterate one Earth and get blown to smithereens when he tore open Monarch (formerly Captain Atom), who...
  • had either gone crazy or "so sane he's crazy" and built a monstrous war machine, led by a handful of variant DC heroes, that...
  • he blew to smithereens when torn open by Superman-Prime;
  • Kyle Rayner, Donna Troy and Jason Todd (all of whom oddly seem more comfortable without superhero names nowadays) went kicking around the 52-verse searching for Ray Palmer in the company (briefly) of a treacherous Monitor named Bob;
  • Palmer (it turns out) was hiding out on a "perfect" Earth, where he had married Jean Loring and enjoyed a world without superheroes (they'd solved all their problems and were in a Golden Age, which ended abruptly and tragically courtesy of Monarch [see above]);
  • Palmer also had the inoculation against morticoccus (a transformative smart virus) in his blood and was seeding it across parallel Earths on his travels (something that turned out to be entirely pointless, as the morticoccus unleashed only consumed Earth-51-- yeah, the very same "perfect" Earth Monarch obliterated-- kind of sucks to live there, huh?)
  • Oh, and that whole morticoccus thing set the pieces in place for Kamandi-Earth;
  • the Earth's villains were mass-deported, a feat of brilliance undone by the heroes, who were feeling somewhat bereft of purpose, I suppose (honest, does anyone think Batman would ever in a million years go seek out the Joker to BRING HIM BACK TO EARTH?);
  • the Atom (Palmer again) liberated the trapped souls of the New Gods, who were lending powers to Jimmy Olsen (who didn't die [truth in advertising, people!!] but did hook up with Forager [temporarily?], possibly the very last living native of New Genesis);
  • Piper survived the villain purge (though Trickster didn't)... only to find he embodied some fragment of the Anti-Life Equation and can make Boom Tubes by playing his flute;
  • Harley Quinn got a new BFF in ex-Catwoman Holly Robinson-- they survived faux Amazon training, a trip to Apokolips, the morticoccus outbreak and a final fight against Dark Mary Marvel (who got a share of Black Adam's power, then a dose of juice from the gods she helped liberate);
  • Dark Mary, btw, managed to become evil TWICE in the course of this story, once by accepting Black Adam's "gift" and then a second time... by taking that same power back from Darkseid! This gal is just pathetic...
  • Also btw, where is Shazam (aka Freddie Freeman) in all this, while Mary's shaming the Marvel Family? Man, I know you just wrapped up six epic feats to win your powers back--after they were somewhat arbitrarily taken away--but what a way not to defend the family honor...
  • speaking of whom... my bet? Dark Mary gets seriously killed in FINAL CRISIS;
  • in total-- ugh.

One conclusion? I'm swearing off weekly comics for awhile. Good luck, TRINITY.

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